


Some Comfort Here

by seori



Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Forum: Goldenlake, Goldenlake Ficmas Exchange, M/M, Series: The Song of the Lioness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 09:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15046319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seori/pseuds/seori
Summary: Raoul and Gary seek solace in one another in the aftermath of Roger and Alanna's duel. Written for Fief Goldenlake's Christmas in June.





	Some Comfort Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [westernsunset](https://archiveofourown.org/users/westernsunset/gifts).



> Written for westernsunset, for Fief Goldenlake's Christmas in June.

Midwinter was typically Raoul's favourite time of year. It was a time of rest and respite, of warm fur and sweet, heady, wine-soaked kisses. He liked that, by and large, everybody walked around with a smile on their face.

Not even his Ordeal had marred his preferred season, for with it had come the grandeur of knighthood.

There was no softening a blow such as this one.

Raoul pulled his knees up to his chest, staring blindly at the opposite wall. The Goldenlake rooms, which he had the privilege of using since his father disdained courtly life, were ornate and beautiful, designed by a stern grandmother he hardly remembered. He had little appreciation for the aesthetic, and would have chosen bare walls and fewer fiddly adornments. Tonight, however, it was comforting to be surrounded by such familiarities.

His head shot up as the doorknob turned, admitting the only person he wanted to see that evening.

"Father has gone to Aunt Lianne," Gary announced, setting the candle in his hands down on Raoul's great aunt's desk, exhibiting his usual lack of care for wax spills. Raoul's maids would take umbrage with him once more in the morning, but he made no move to protect the carved surface.

"How is he?" Raoul asked, suddenly not sure what to do with his hands. He wiped his palms on his knees, conscious that they were beginning to sweat.

The candlelight couldn't disguise Gary's weary face as he nudged Raoul aside so he could squeeze next to him on the bed. "Budge up, you big lump." Raoul obliged, shifting enough so that Gary had space, but not too much. He liked the feel of Gary's body pressed against him, even side by side. Even tonight.

Gary sighed, closing his eyes. "It's as though he's floundering. I've never seen him like that. Roger, he - he had us all fooled."

"Not all of us," Raoul said thoughtfully, picturing Alan's - _Alanna's_ \- fierce, determined face.

Gary made a sound of agreement, stretching his legs out before him. "Clever little thing, isn't she?"

Raoul's first, instinctive response was that he'd like to see Gary say that to Alan - Alanna's face. Then, he turned the remark over in his mind. There was no hesitation, none of the second guessing that existed in Raoul's thoughts, let alone his speech. "Did you - did you know about Alanna?"

There was no mistaking the lazy grin Gary shot him. Gary loved secrets, collected them like a magpie, then sat on them, biding his time. This secret would have pleased Gary very much indeed, but Raoul couldn't help the sudden spike of jealousy. For a moment, he wasn't sure who he was most envious of - did he want that closeness with Alan? Was it that he longed for all Gary's confidences, to know him as completely as sometimes, Raoul thought Gary must know Raoul himself?

"She needed a second knight for her Ordeal," Gary conceded eventually, and some of the hollowness that had settled in Raoul's chest shifted. Silly to fixate on this when there was so much more happening. "I don't know where she went after - after. I think Jon went to find her."

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask _is she - are they…?_ , but he decided there was no real need. Before, he had thought that the two of them had something of whatever it was he had with Gary, only more hopeless, Jonathan being the heir to the throne. Either way, it still wasn't any of his business. Raoul would not appreciate Alanna asking questions of him, after all.

"Douglass asked if I thought anybody would notice if he skipped his Ordeal and went straight ahead with the knighting ceremony." There was idle amusement in Gary's tone, and Raoul was fiercely glad of it. Trust Douglass to be the one to alleviate even the darkest situation.

"Of course he did." Come to think of it, Raoul hadn't seen his own squire since the early evening. Hopefully Sacherell wasn't in the adjoining room. He wasn't usually.

Gary's eyes set on the bottle of wine Raoul had set out earlier, back when Alanna had been Alan, and Roger had been little more than Jon's cousin. "Do you mind?"

The question hung in the air. Raoul had envisioned different things for this bottle, celebratory, tender scenarios befitting Midwinter sweethearts. It was a tough adjustment, but Gary didn't wait for a response before hopping off the bed to collect the wine and goblets. Too accustomed, perhaps, to having everybody say yes to him. To having Raoul say yes to him.

"I keep thinking about Alex," Gary confessed, passing a goblet to Raoul. He set the bottle on the floor by the bed before climbing back in. "No one's seen him since the fight. The things Alanna said, the things that she accused Roger of..."

"He could be in shock," Raoul suggested, but it felt wrong. He remembered starting page training the four of them - Gary, Raoul, Alex, and Francis. Now Francis was gone, and maybe Alex was even further beyond their reach.

Gary shivered, hooking his left foot underneath Raoul's calf. Raoul stilled, experiencing the familiar fizz from contact. "I was jealous of Roger when we were younger. I wanted to be Jon's favourite cousin, and there was this glittering rival. Older, more entertaining, more sophisticated..."

"More inclined towards regicide," Raoul added dryly, rewarded by Gary's half-laugh. At least they _could_ joke about it, because Roger hadn't succeeded, however near he had come to it. "Do you think you could have done it? If the Chamber had shown you what he was up to, could you have challenged him in front of the court?"

For a while, his only answer was Gary draining and refilling his goblet. "Is it cowardly to say that's not my style? I'd have gone to Father with it."

Of course he would have, but moreover Gary would have had the luxury of being believed. Alanna would not have had the same benefit, and neither would Raoul. The evidence, the witnesses, Raoul couldn't see himself executing any other strategy. "I'd have challenged him." In fact, he could feel the itch for a fight, to eke out some sort of retribution for his queen and country.

"I don't doubt it." Gary plucked the goblet from Raoul's hands, and set it aside. "In fact, I'm reasonably certain that the only person you'd hesitate to challenge would be our good Sir Wyldon at tilting."

It was a blatant ploy to rile Raoul, and worse, it was working. He said nothing, having played this game long enough to know that Gary would try another tack soon.

Tonight was different in all ways, as it transpired. Gary levered himself on his elbow, looking down into Raoul's face. "Not in the mood?"

Was he? Raoul considered. Of course, he was 22 and in love, so a part of him was always in the mood. "I could use the distraction."

Both Gary's brows climbed towards his hairline. "A _distraction_?" His tone was playful, his fingers searching as his free hand skated over Raoul's tunic. If he could feel how Raoul's heart pounded away under his ministrations, his face showed no sign of it. "Is that how you see me?"

No, if he were honest. Raoul sometimes thought of everything else as the distraction, as the filler between the times he could have Gary like this, open and raw somehow. Exposed somehow, with no need for his weapon of choice; his wit. Raoul contemplated saying it as he leaned across to cup Gary's jaw in his hand, sweeping his thumb across the pulse point, feeling the roughness of his beard.

He stayed silent.

Gary's eyelids fluttered shut, and Raoul was consumed with raw satisfaction, but Gary could hardly bear to be outdone for long. Raoul found himself flat on his back, much like those referenced bouts with Sir Wyldon but at least more pleasurable in this instance.

"I thought about doing this earlier, when you told Douglass that you'd only seen me sit astride a desk for months."

Had that been that morning? It seemed like a lifetime ago, something that belonged to a different Gary, and a different Raoul.

"This?" Raoul scoffed, doing his best to sound as though he wasn't affected. "This is all you thought about."

Gary smirked at him, his expression suggesting that one would have to get up early in the day to fool Gary of Naxen (or be a maniac bent on regicide, but that was a notion for another time). "I thought about Midwinter kisses."

That was a cue Raoul wasn't going to miss. He was not in a position to dominate the kiss, but he led it all the same, putting everything he'd learned about Gary in the last year into the only way he could communicate it. Under the richness of the wine, Raoul could taste the smokiness of Duke Gareth's preferred tea.

Their kisses turned languid as though they had all the time in the world. The hands burrowing under Raoul's tunic suggested otherwise. He could tell he was losing control of the situation, fast. The Midwinter nights were the longest of the year, and the last thing Raoul wanted was for Gary to sense the weight of his obligations. All that would await his serious-eyed boy in the morning.

For now, he rolled them efficiently, easily, allowing his full weight to press down on Gary for a moment, before he turned his attention to the most distracting methods he knew.

The candles sputtered and died shortly after, but Gary was so vocal about his appreciation that Raoul didn't need to see his face.

Corus might have been turned on its head - a lady knight and a traitorous sorcerer were the stuff of legend - but at least they had one another for now. Maybe for longer, Raoul thought sleepily, in the very early hours. Maybe Jon and Alanna could be persuaded to continue the Naxen line for Gary.


End file.
